My Story

My Journey of Faith

I was born into the darkness of this world though my soul ever yearned for the Light. Yet, no matter how much I longed to escape darkness, it followed and haunted me endlessly. I searched for hope and Light through the study of various modern faiths. Though I was raised in Christianity, by my late 20s I had become agnostic. I believed God could exist, but I found no faith that wasn’t so distorted from any version of a God worth knowing or worshipping, that I could be morally convinced to follow.

As humans, we are told from a young age not to be “too kind” or “care too much”, and if we do, then we are told we need to change to fit the “not kind and uncaring world”, and so I spent a lifetime hating and trying to run from this very nature within myself. Yet, after soul-rupturing suffering in this life, I can tell you that it is the caring parts, the kind parts of ourselves, that save souls and in the end, it is souls that truly matter. The world tells you to kill off the “weakness” of goodness, but I say to you that goodness is strength and wickedness is weakness, for it is only the wicked who seek to drag others down with them into the darkness, and away from God’s Light through force and deceit. After losing my belief in the version of God I had been told existed my entire life, I began to close in more and more to protect myself. I curled up into a cave in my mind away from the horrors of the world, and the people in it who committed those horrors against me or were never there for me. Yet, I could never hide from God.

I began to read more again and opened myself to whatever I might find, and one day I sat down and called out, “God of creation. If you are there. If you exist. Please let me know you.” I immediately felt a warmth from inside overtake me and then a very physical and loving embrace enveloped me. I began to cry out of pure joy. It was in this moment that I realized my former religious beliefs had been keeping me from having a real relationship with God my whole life. For how can you hope to get to truly know someone and develop a relationship with them if you are told before you even meet them who they are? I always felt that He was there but was kept so far from Him by man’s distortions of His very nature and innate presence. For how many religions in our day claim to know His Will while corrupted by immoralities that contradict His very nature? For this world is corrupted by darkness, yet just because we live within it, does not mean we are of it! We are of Atum’s (Gods) Light, mortal in body, yet immortal in soul. So as long as the Light remains there is always hope!

Atum’s Light shone down into that cave I resided within, and I found my way out and into the sun; and to my surprise, He did not blame or shame me for hiding. Atum does not judge us for the evils done to us, and the sufferings of the darkness of this existence, for we all endure in darkness here away from God’s presence. Suffering is simply part of this life, a tragedy wrought on us all by those who craved power equal to Gods, and not something to be ashamed of. What matters is not that we may find ourselves in darkness, but that we don’t let that darkness ever snuff out our soul’s light and change us. I hid to protect myself. To protect my soul from the cruel world, yet I say to you, “Do not let the mortal world and the evil forces at work within it convince you that you are wrong in soul, as I once believed, and lead you into hiding your Light!” For your light can be the beacon for others to follow to the shores of the doorway to eternity. For you are more precious to Atum than can be explained in any better way, other then: “He let us go”. For as it is said, “If you love something you must let it go”. We are given a choice in this life. As a bible verse says, “No one can serve two masters”. In this life, everyone makes a choice who they will ultimately serve, and I have chosen Atum, and Goodness, and Light. I rise with renewed strength, and a mission to spread the love and truth of Atum, the God of creation. The God of All times, places, and peoples. The same yesterday, today, and forever. The Light on the hill guiding us home, if we but decide to pursue Goodness, Righteousness, and Truth, rather than darkness, wickedness, and deceit. Be at peace. You are not alone. Atum created you, and set you free to choose, and that choice becomes your destiny.

Atum awaits you in eternity, Child of Light.

With Love,

Ahset

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